Senseless

Driving is an activity that really should be experienced with all of your senses. All of them.

The first sense is vision. You have to be able to see ahead of you. Good depth perception is important. You must be able to judge the distance between you and anything ahead of you. Peripheral vision is good - dangers can come in from the side, and it's good to be able to sense how close you are to someone next to you without turning your head.

The second sense is balance. You need to be able to sense changes in speed and direction without necessarily having other inputs. Practice... With your eyes closed: is the elevator going up or down, which way is the dentist's chair moving, can you keep your balance on the BART?

The third sense is feeling. Sense the feedback from the steering wheel. Is the vehicle trying to pull you in a direction? Can you feel the vibration from the tires at a certain speed? Understand that, it'll help you know how fast you're going without looking at the speedometer. Can you feel when the engine is bouncing off the rev limiter? That tells you to shift.

The fourth sense is sound. My tires make a certain noise when they slide to the side a bit. THey make a more intense noise when they really break loose on a corner. There's a certain squeal and thump noise when they break loose due to torque. The engine tells me when it's over 2500 RPM with a low growl. I know it's over 4000 when I hear the growl turn into a whine. Understand what the noises your car makes are telling you. Know the sound of a fire truck versus a police car - they're very different, and you need to know how to respond quickly without looking.

The fifth sense is smell. Memorize the smell of your vehicle. If it smells different, something is wrong. Be able to tell the difference between that and the smell of a bus passing by.

The sixth sense is taste. A metallic taste in your mouth? That means you did something that changed the chemical balance in your brain. You probably almost died. Avoid that.

Learn how to process all of this information into an almost instinctual response that keeps you out of trouble.

And then realize that sometimes shit just happens and you're gonna get fucked. Airbags are a lifesaver.

Fat Guy in a Z3

When a fat guy buys a Z3, he's pretty much admitting a lack of personal responsibility, but still wants to get laid. Now, while the lack of personal responsibility is kind of disappointing, the upside of this kind of person is that they tend to be very bad at overcoming their monkey brains.

So I'm in line to turn right onto Russell from the airport connector. I leave a car length open ahead of me specifically to lure in jackasses. A fat guy in a Z3 decides to skip the line and wedge in ahead of me. I happen to have the truck in 1st gear, and respond by slamming the throttle and jumping around him, then aiming at his front fender.

The man's monkey brain kicks in and he squeals and scampers up into a tree - meaning he swerved to the left and slammed on his brakes. Monkey brain fear hurt.

So he falls into line behind me and has about 45 seconds to think about the situation. It doesn't take too long for his monkey brain to realize that he just got beat up and won't get the best monkey-nookie partner. So he responds by running higher up the tree and flinging feces at me. Meaning once he gets to the stop sign, he slams his car into gear and roars around me.

That wasn't really something I cared about - I proved my point and won the pissing contest. It was over by the time he got enough balls together to scream at me.

Anyway, due to construction I pulled a u-turn at the next light and turned north onto Maryland (where the Z3 guy had turned left). As I turned onto the street I noticed that he had spun out and broken his car. I probably should've felt sorry for him. But I'm an ass - so I didn't.

Odd Happenings

Maryland and Tropicana - got to watch a guy in a car try to pick up a hooker. Only she wasn't a hooker (just a trashy looking college student). She wasn't too happy about the mistake.

Later, on Tropicana I looked at the car next to me at a traffic light and noticed he was someone seriously into the punk scene. Spiked hair with 5 inch spikes. The hairdo for punks that think the mohawk is overdone. Trouble is, he was about 50, and had some serious male pattern baldness setting in. So it was kind of a spiked ridge around the top of his head. Very comical.

Then, at the Albertson's, a stoned woman ran into my shopping cart. Bounced off, looked startled, and wandered away. I'm glad I don't live in Summerlin, life would be so much more boring.

Something Deadly

Someone almost made a fatal mistake yesterday on my way home.

Eastbound in the right lane on Warm Springs, just before 95. I was doing about 45 when somebody started to pull out onto Warm Springs. Just in front of me. THankfully he stopped and I swerved.

Then about half a mile later traffic was goobered up because someone else hadn't stopped.

Woops

The other driver doesn't seem to have insurance. Poor people suck.