5/31/2005
Russelled Again?
Didn't see who got what, but when there's a backup onto the connector and flashing lights ahead it's a good idea to just keep going straight to Tropicana.
Ah sushi
On the way there I got to see a semi with a trailer brake that was hyperlocking. Impressive how much smoke a hard compound tire can make. Hope it wasn't owner operated.
Because I don't live in the ghetto
I don't often see a van with four slashed tires and a side spray painted with the legend "God knows what you did." I'm probably better off not knowing what they did.
Yo, Shiny
You have a nice shiny new Suburban. I have a dented pickup, good insurance, and an understanding of physics. Lunging at my lane won't make me move. It will, however, make me laugh.
The good insurance and the understanding of physics are why even though you're driving a beat up '72 Ford pickup I still forced your ass into oncoming traffic. Guess what, the median isn't a passing lane - if I happen to need to turn left you're probably the one that'll lose the argument. Trust me on that.
The good insurance and the understanding of physics are why even though you're driving a beat up '72 Ford pickup I still forced your ass into oncoming traffic. Guess what, the median isn't a passing lane - if I happen to need to turn left you're probably the one that'll lose the argument. Trust me on that.
5/28/2005
Please Stop
Hey, people, come on, please quit hitting my mirrors. It takes me about half a year to get them aligned properly. So, ya know, it doesn't take a lot to avoid smacking my mirrors. Seriously.
5/27/2005
Hooyunday
I was doing a classic 1-2-5 shift this morning when some doofus in a base model Hyundai thought I wanted to race. (Despite the base model Hyundai, he had enough money to install a huge coffee can homie-pipe.)
Nothing interesting happened. Not much really can when dealing with a base model Hyundai.
Nothing interesting happened. Not much really can when dealing with a base model Hyundai.
Vegas Ain't The Only Place
Fire Truck Hit On Way To Fire
|
The car collided with the fire engine, which also had its lights and sirens on.
There were no injuries and only minor damage to the fire truck.
The fire crew was on its way to a house fire at 42nd Street and Grand Avenue.
Everyone got out safely, thanks to neighbors and a family dog, which woke the residents up.
The fire was contained to the back of the building and is under investigation.
5/26/2005
Spider Chase
Tonight I saw a spider bookin' his li'l ass down my hallway. I turned the light on and looked - he was chasing some other bug. Funniest thing, watching some poor bug trying it's best to escape the spider. And that spider running for all he was worth in hot pursuit.
You could ask who won but you'd have to ask my vacuum cleaner.
You could ask who won but you'd have to ask my vacuum cleaner.
Yahoo Search Again
This site is #7 for "assrape". In Spanish no less. Apparantly it means the same in both languages.
Why does it keep coming up for words like "crack ho", "boulder highway hookers", and "assrape"?
I hope this tells me more about the people out there than the voices in here.
Why does it keep coming up for words like "crack ho", "boulder highway hookers", and "assrape"?
I hope this tells me more about the people out there than the voices in here.
Don't Go
Let's say you have a stoplight. And that stoplight has no green arrows. Just lots of green orbs, beckoning you forward. You're turning right, and across the intersection you see someone with their left turn signal on.
Quiz time: who has the right of way?
That's right, buckyboy, it's you.
Oh, you guessed wrong? Idjit. Just go, would ya? You're not being nice, you're just impeding the natural flow of traffic.
Quiz time: who has the right of way?
That's right, buckyboy, it's you.
Oh, you guessed wrong? Idjit. Just go, would ya? You're not being nice, you're just impeding the natural flow of traffic.
5/23/2005
Stephanie Says
Don't Be A Dumbass
Furthermore, don't be a collection of dumbassii.
Northish bound on Stephani just before Russell. Just after the two lanes merge into one. Dumbass 1 sticks his car halfway into the turn lane, and stops.
Dumbass 2 stops in my lane behind him.
Dumbass 3 stops halfway to the right of him.
Dumbass 4 stops right next to the guardrail.
And they all sit there. Doing nothing. I can't get around because Dumbass 4 is next to the guardrail. Finally after a minute traffic turns left and the dumbassii sort themselves out.
Granted, it was only a couple minutes, but it was still annoying to have the time wasted by true morons.
Furthermore, don't be a collection of dumbassii.
Northish bound on Stephani just before Russell. Just after the two lanes merge into one. Dumbass 1 sticks his car halfway into the turn lane, and stops.
Dumbass 2 stops in my lane behind him.
Dumbass 3 stops halfway to the right of him.
Dumbass 4 stops right next to the guardrail.
And they all sit there. Doing nothing. I can't get around because Dumbass 4 is next to the guardrail. Finally after a minute traffic turns left and the dumbassii sort themselves out.
Granted, it was only a couple minutes, but it was still annoying to have the time wasted by true morons.
5/22/2005
The Inevitability Of Fate
There is something freeing about the inevitability of certain actions and reactions. When you accept that certain consequences will happen you no longer worry about whether or not you're doing an action that will trigger those consequences.
Take, for example, the fact that I know I will get a speeding ticket sometime. I accept it. When I finally get pulled over I'll admit my speed, take my ticket, and be on my way.
But the nice thing is that I just don't care how fast I drive any more. On the highway I seem to average out at about 80 as long as traffic is pretty light. Otherwise I just move with traffic. Around town I actually average about the speed limit (plus minus 4 mph or so).
Today, driving south on I95 I passed a cop pulling someone over. I didn't bother slowing down. Then I passed another cop later who was sitting on the side of the highway. Didn't slow down. He must not've had his radar on. Just delays the inevitable. I'll get a ticket at some point - I just won't care about it.
Take, for example, the fact that I know I will get a speeding ticket sometime. I accept it. When I finally get pulled over I'll admit my speed, take my ticket, and be on my way.
But the nice thing is that I just don't care how fast I drive any more. On the highway I seem to average out at about 80 as long as traffic is pretty light. Otherwise I just move with traffic. Around town I actually average about the speed limit (plus minus 4 mph or so).
Today, driving south on I95 I passed a cop pulling someone over. I didn't bother slowing down. Then I passed another cop later who was sitting on the side of the highway. Didn't slow down. He must not've had his radar on. Just delays the inevitable. I'll get a ticket at some point - I just won't care about it.
5/20/2005
Despite the lack of a stoplight;
a crosswalk still means you should stop for people. 'Cause, ya know, picking a pedestrian out of your grill sucks.
Coppers
Been having odd luck with police lately.
On Wednesday, I was stopped at a light and a motorcycle cop turned left from a perpendicular side street. The entire corner he was glaring at me. I had no real clue why, so I glared back. 'Cause, ya know, I'm not so worried. With no traffic coming he manages a quick U-turn to get into traffic a few cars behind me. Huh... Follows for a while before turning to another street. Half a mile later I spot two motorcycle cops who seem a little too interested. 'Cause, really, I'm not that interesting.
On Friday morning I got pissed of waiting for a school bus full of kids to load and get out of my way (yeah yeah, I know, but it's still irritating). So I kind jumped out into traffic turning right onto Tropicana from Jimmy Durante. Turns out I cut off a cop. I guess he was on a call because he didn't stop me.
Friday afternoon I got eyed by a cruiser who kept pace beside me for a while on Tropicana. Smiled and waved, 'cause, hey, for once I wasn't doing anything wrong.
Not quite sure what all this means, but I suspect I may be going to traffic school soon.
On Wednesday, I was stopped at a light and a motorcycle cop turned left from a perpendicular side street. The entire corner he was glaring at me. I had no real clue why, so I glared back. 'Cause, ya know, I'm not so worried. With no traffic coming he manages a quick U-turn to get into traffic a few cars behind me. Huh... Follows for a while before turning to another street. Half a mile later I spot two motorcycle cops who seem a little too interested. 'Cause, really, I'm not that interesting.
On Friday morning I got pissed of waiting for a school bus full of kids to load and get out of my way (yeah yeah, I know, but it's still irritating). So I kind jumped out into traffic turning right onto Tropicana from Jimmy Durante. Turns out I cut off a cop. I guess he was on a call because he didn't stop me.
Friday afternoon I got eyed by a cruiser who kept pace beside me for a while on Tropicana. Smiled and waved, 'cause, hey, for once I wasn't doing anything wrong.
Not quite sure what all this means, but I suspect I may be going to traffic school soon.
Turn, Turn, Turn
In a situation where someone is making a U-turn against an open green light and perendicular to him someone is making a right turn to the same direction, who has right of way?
Legally, I'm not sure. But in reality it's definitely not the guy in the $35k Magnum. It's the guy in the $7k dented pickup.
Legally, I'm not sure. But in reality it's definitely not the guy in the $35k Magnum. It's the guy in the $7k dented pickup.
5/19/2005
More Searchy
websearch.com lists this as #5 for crack ho.
Speaking of which, even in pairs women in denim shorts near Boulder Highway still look like crack hos. Just no changing that. Time to update the wardrobe ladies.
Speaking of which, even in pairs women in denim shorts near Boulder Highway still look like crack hos. Just no changing that. Time to update the wardrobe ladies.
Well Aren't We Stupid?
Tropicana westbound after Boulder, I was in the middle lane getting up to the speed limit. Some lady decided to pull a U-turn against a green light. With traffic coming. Then she noticed someone turning right at the intersection. Rather than go somewhere useful, she stopped. Bad.
Even worse, once there was some space she ended up straddling two lanes. I finally had to lay on the horn to get her to pick one. It's amazing to me that some people survive.
Even worse, once there was some space she ended up straddling two lanes. I finally had to lay on the horn to get her to pick one. It's amazing to me that some people survive.
5/18/2005
I Shouldn't Exist
On the list of things that shouldn't be: this morning I saw a Geo Metro towing a trailer full of gardening gear. That just can't be a good idea.
Oil Ain't Just For Cars
Let's spend a brief moment with the mad scientist in me, shall we?
I hate fan noise from computers. Drives me absolutely total monkeyfuck.
So I've been researching my options. I could liquid cool, but that's expensive and I have other things to spend my money on. I could spend a bunch of time and money using quiet fans and such, but that limits my processor speed. I could manufacturer my own cases, but that'd take a lot of time. Then I found another option - submerging a computer in oil.
Oil is completely nonconductive and non-corrosive. It should work just fine. Others have had success, so shall I.
I bought a $1.99 styrofoam ice chest and 5 gallons of vegetable oil as outlined earlier.
I completely disassembled an old PC I had laying about, and put the pieces in the ice chest. Connected them up and turned it on. It seemed to be working okay.
So I poured in the first gallon of oil. All was well.
Gallon two, all was well.
Gallon three, much the same.
About half way through gallon four I started hearing a weird noise. I traced it down to the CPU fan barely touching the surface of the oil and making a slapping noise. So I continued pouring.
Everything seemed to be working okay, maybe this was going to be all right. Thinking I had a momentous occasion on my hands, I got my camera. Took the lense cap off, turned the camera on, and rounded the corner into the living room and OH FUCK!!!
The styrofoam ice chest had cracked and was firing a line of pressured oil onto my carpet. OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!
I grabbed the ice chest and aimed the stream directly away from me. Then ran to the kitchen. Right about the time I hit the tile I realized what a bad idea it was to aim the stream directly in front of me.
The only way I could keep upright was to keep skating forward on my nice slick tile floor. Next thing I knew I was bouncing off the sink. Of course, between me and the sink was the ice chest. It disintegrated.
Somehow I got the pieces launched into the sink and kept on my feet. Then I surveyed the damage...
Grabbed a bunch of towels and tried sopping up the four foot wide puddle of oil on my carpet. Mopped up the kitchen. Then decided to try a carpet steamer. Seemed to work okay.
By the time I was done I had:
4 empty jugs of vegetable oil
1 busted styrofoam ice chest
1 full gallon jug of vegetable oil
1 wet, oily spot about 4 feet wide on my carpet
1 wet, oily carpet steamer
1 washer full of wet, oily towels
1 oily trail in the kitchen
1 sink full of computer parts and styrofoam bits
1 non-wet, but still oily, me
Overall not a successful evening.
I hate fan noise from computers. Drives me absolutely total monkeyfuck.
So I've been researching my options. I could liquid cool, but that's expensive and I have other things to spend my money on. I could spend a bunch of time and money using quiet fans and such, but that limits my processor speed. I could manufacturer my own cases, but that'd take a lot of time. Then I found another option - submerging a computer in oil.
Oil is completely nonconductive and non-corrosive. It should work just fine. Others have had success, so shall I.
I bought a $1.99 styrofoam ice chest and 5 gallons of vegetable oil as outlined earlier.
I completely disassembled an old PC I had laying about, and put the pieces in the ice chest. Connected them up and turned it on. It seemed to be working okay.
So I poured in the first gallon of oil. All was well.
Gallon two, all was well.
Gallon three, much the same.
About half way through gallon four I started hearing a weird noise. I traced it down to the CPU fan barely touching the surface of the oil and making a slapping noise. So I continued pouring.
Everything seemed to be working okay, maybe this was going to be all right. Thinking I had a momentous occasion on my hands, I got my camera. Took the lense cap off, turned the camera on, and rounded the corner into the living room and OH FUCK!!!
The styrofoam ice chest had cracked and was firing a line of pressured oil onto my carpet. OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!
I grabbed the ice chest and aimed the stream directly away from me. Then ran to the kitchen. Right about the time I hit the tile I realized what a bad idea it was to aim the stream directly in front of me.
The only way I could keep upright was to keep skating forward on my nice slick tile floor. Next thing I knew I was bouncing off the sink. Of course, between me and the sink was the ice chest. It disintegrated.
Somehow I got the pieces launched into the sink and kept on my feet. Then I surveyed the damage...
Grabbed a bunch of towels and tried sopping up the four foot wide puddle of oil on my carpet. Mopped up the kitchen. Then decided to try a carpet steamer. Seemed to work okay.
By the time I was done I had:
4 empty jugs of vegetable oil
1 busted styrofoam ice chest
1 full gallon jug of vegetable oil
1 wet, oily spot about 4 feet wide on my carpet
1 wet, oily carpet steamer
1 washer full of wet, oily towels
1 oily trail in the kitchen
1 sink full of computer parts and styrofoam bits
1 non-wet, but still oily, me
Overall not a successful evening.
Valve Float
Be a little wary of the guy who thinks valve float is nothing more than a built-in rev limiter.
5/16/2005
Mah Workplahce
I like working in a place where I can say things like "you fucking chaos monkey, don't you have better things to do than scooch up the nearest tree you can find while throwing coconuts and feces at everyone? 'Cause, frankly, I'm not amused."
And where I can send e-mail to customers explaining that "I'm sorry, but the many ways and means of our release schedules and compositions are beyond a mere mortal such as I. Perhaps if we consult the Almighty Oracle Of The Mountain, he who is much practiced in the science of divination, we shall be blessed with an answer that our puny minds may comprehend."
And where I occasionally have to ask my boss things like "What's machine (x) running right now?" To which his response was "Nothing, that machine doesn't exist any more."
Me: "Um... I can ping it and it's port scanning me."
Him: "Oh, yeah, I am running a port scan."
Me: "Just how DO you define 'doesn't exist'?"
I'ma get in trouble one of these days, but for now it keeps me from being irritated with other drivers quite so much.
And where I can send e-mail to customers explaining that "I'm sorry, but the many ways and means of our release schedules and compositions are beyond a mere mortal such as I. Perhaps if we consult the Almighty Oracle Of The Mountain, he who is much practiced in the science of divination, we shall be blessed with an answer that our puny minds may comprehend."
And where I occasionally have to ask my boss things like "What's machine (x) running right now?" To which his response was "Nothing, that machine doesn't exist any more."
Me: "Um... I can ping it and it's port scanning me."
Him: "Oh, yeah, I am running a port scan."
Me: "Just how DO you define 'doesn't exist'?"
I'ma get in trouble one of these days, but for now it keeps me from being irritated with other drivers quite so much.
Gotcha
Pecos northbound from Hacienda. Saw a motorcycle cop pulling someone over. It's a 25 mph zone there since it's mostly residential. Come on, at least make 'em work for it.
Russell
I almost got Russelled today. Turning right from the Airport Connector I got to look in my rear view mirror in time to watch some guy on a cell phone nearly give me a little anal lubin'. Gotta pay attention there, guys.
Found 'Em
Chances are, lady, if yer walking around Boulder Highway wearing a pair of Daisy Duke (tm) brand cutoffs; you're going to look like a hooker. Sorry, just a fact of life since this isn't the early 80s any longer.
DeeBree
Eastbound on Trop past I95 traffic slows a bit and I notice some dirt on the road. Okay, nothing major. Then next thing I know I'm swerving around some cinder blocks that someone conveniently dropped off in the middle of the street. Thanks. At least I know my reflexes are still okay.
5/14/2005
Which Brings To Mind
If I think I'm such a good driver why do I have such problems with a hydraulic clutch?
And yes, I know the answer. Here's a hint, my first years of driving a manual were on:
1982 Subaru
1978 Subaru
1957 Chevy
1984 Toyota
1982 Toyota
The only exception to that list is a 2000 Subaru, but the clutch there didn't feel hydraulic because I had it tuned exactly to the length of my leg..
A 1998 Toyota with a hydraulic clutch just kicks my ass.
And yes, I know the answer. Here's a hint, my first years of driving a manual were on:
1982 Subaru
1978 Subaru
1957 Chevy
1984 Toyota
1982 Toyota
The only exception to that list is a 2000 Subaru, but the clutch there didn't feel hydraulic because I had it tuned exactly to the length of my leg..
A 1998 Toyota with a hydraulic clutch just kicks my ass.
Ramen Is Vegetable
I forgot that one of the burners on my stove no longer automatically ignites. So I turned it on.
(click click click click click)
Huh?
(click click click click click)
Oh yeah, I have to light it manually.
(click click click click click)
So I flick the bic.
(FAHWHOOMP!)
Damn near burned my eyebrows off.
And I still think I'm qualified to operate a motor vehicle...
(click click click click click)
Huh?
(click click click click click)
Oh yeah, I have to light it manually.
(click click click click click)
So I flick the bic.
(FAHWHOOMP!)
Damn near burned my eyebrows off.
And I still think I'm qualified to operate a motor vehicle...
Shopping
When you buy 5 gallons of vegetable oil and a cooler, people begin to ask questions. Normally these can be discouraged by strings of excess bullshit. Like the conversation with the checkstand lady when she raised an eyebrow at the stack of oil on the conveyer belt.
Me: "I've got a project."
Her: "Should I even ask?"
Me: "Well, there's a certain chemical situation involved in the electrolitical conversion of specific oils that can be exploited to provide a net excess of free radical ions."
At that point the average person's brain shuts down and you can go about your merry business.
Me: "I've got a project."
Her: "Should I even ask?"
Me: "Well, there's a certain chemical situation involved in the electrolitical conversion of specific oils that can be exploited to provide a net excess of free radical ions."
At that point the average person's brain shuts down and you can go about your merry business.
Surprised
Taking a left from Stephanie near the stadium. I came from the middle lane into some guy's driver side blind spot. As he was watching the corner I drifted to his passenger side blind spot. I think he had no idea I was there until I passed him - he flinched a bit as I came around the front of his truck on the passenger side.
Der Fleet
Over ten RVs parked at Albertson's today. Not a show, just a weird redneck convoy. This freaks out me as much as convoys of those creepy-ass brown UPS trucks (I used to lived near a UPS facility, mornings on the way to work were kinda chilling).
Mercedes Dents
I almost took out a Mercedes today. It was the classic one where I was turning right, he was turning left. He wanted into the right lane and I wanted the left. Thankfully both of us were pretty quick to figure it out and we missed.
Didn't Make It
Getting off the airport connector onto Warm Springs. Looks like there's an accident in the intersection. Yup. Someone misjudged the left turn and caught a SUV to the fender. Funny thing was it looked like the SUV took the worst of it.
5/13/2005
Fun Night
You know it's been a fun night when you have to tell your passenger "Dude, puke out the window, not in my truck." "Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Don't piss on that!"
5/11/2005
Ronald The Nose
I went to a store the other day to see about getting some custom bits for my house. I expected a plethora of options and choices. I expected some help planning a custom installation.
What I got was Ronald McHelpless, the Noseclown. "Well, your options are this, this, this, or this." Literally. That's a direct quote.
And then he went into a canned spiel.
I forgot most of it. He was taller than me. nose at eye level. Red blond hair. All normal enough. Except that he had some nose hair issues. Serious issues. I swear a clown was trying to climb out of his nose. I'd suggets he get a nose hair trimmer, but this is more on the order of weedwhacker. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying due to the distraction of a man's nose giving birth to a small squid.
It was surreal.
What I got was Ronald McHelpless, the Noseclown. "Well, your options are this, this, this, or this." Literally. That's a direct quote.
And then he went into a canned spiel.
I forgot most of it. He was taller than me. nose at eye level. Red blond hair. All normal enough. Except that he had some nose hair issues. Serious issues. I swear a clown was trying to climb out of his nose. I'd suggets he get a nose hair trimmer, but this is more on the order of weedwhacker. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying due to the distraction of a man's nose giving birth to a small squid.
It was surreal.
Gator Season
It's road gator season again. I almost caught a big one on my drive home today. Wish I had some way to profit from dead tires, 'cause they're all over the place.
So are dead cars. It's that season again, too. Routine maintenance, people, routine maintenance. It's surprisingly important. And despite what a coworker of mine says, yes you do have to change your oil filter every once in a while, no matter how much oil your car burns.
Reminds me, I need to get some supplies for my twice yearly oil change.
So are dead cars. It's that season again, too. Routine maintenance, people, routine maintenance. It's surprisingly important. And despite what a coworker of mine says, yes you do have to change your oil filter every once in a while, no matter how much oil your car burns.
Reminds me, I need to get some supplies for my twice yearly oil change.
A Chance Meeting
An elderly couple with good brakes and bad depth perception got a hug from a friendly man with bad brakes today. I'm sure this happened more than once, but I only saw one.
Yay for observant people!
Yay for observant people!
Oscar The Meyer
I saw the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile today. Eastbound on Tropicana near Pecos. Dunno where it was headed. Maybe to I95 to go spread some overprocessed pig part joy and happiness at Hoover Dam. Maybe just down to Hobertson's. The second idea kind of frightens me.
Following Too Closely?
Eastbound on Stephanie, I passed a XTerra. He musta got pissed because he started tailing me way too close. Fine with me. I take the left turn at the end of Stephanie at about 30. Not hard in my trucklet. I looked in my rear view mirror soon enough to see an XTerra almost roll itself on the corner.
Yay for smart people!
Yay for smart people!
5/10/2005
Sometimes I'm Nice,
Sometimes I'm Not.
Eastbound on Warm Springs, I'm in the left lane first rank stopped at the stoplight for Green Valley. Some lady in a old Corolla is next to me.
A schoolbus turns right onto Warm Springs from Green Valley. Then it stops about 1/8th of a mile down the road and turns on its stop lights. The street light ahead of me turns green and I start into the intersection, figuring I'll stop when I get near the bus.
Dingbat lady in the car takes off like she's not going to stop for the bus. Awright, whatever. Then the bus pulls in its stop lights and starts to merge from the shoulder into the right lane. So I speed up. So does the lady in the Corolla. So does the bus.
This should be amusing.
The lady slams on her brakes, swerves into my lane, and continues driving like a twit for the next few miles. Bummer, 'cause I was hoping to get her off the road for a while.
Eastbound on Warm Springs, I'm in the left lane first rank stopped at the stoplight for Green Valley. Some lady in a old Corolla is next to me.
A schoolbus turns right onto Warm Springs from Green Valley. Then it stops about 1/8th of a mile down the road and turns on its stop lights. The street light ahead of me turns green and I start into the intersection, figuring I'll stop when I get near the bus.
Dingbat lady in the car takes off like she's not going to stop for the bus. Awright, whatever. Then the bus pulls in its stop lights and starts to merge from the shoulder into the right lane. So I speed up. So does the lady in the Corolla. So does the bus.
This should be amusing.
The lady slams on her brakes, swerves into my lane, and continues driving like a twit for the next few miles. Bummer, 'cause I was hoping to get her off the road for a while.
5/09/2005
Sandy (No Valley)
When you're hauling a load of dirt and you manage to dump a bunch of it onto the road just before the intersection it's a good idea to clean it up. If you don't, the next person who tries to stop for a yellow light may just slide his ass into the intersection. While I'm sure that provides a lot of humor for everyone else stopped at the light it sure doesn't do anything nice to the poor driver's heart rate.
Thankfully the driver has rally racing experience. He's just very thankful there was no one behind him.
Thankfully the driver has rally racing experience. He's just very thankful there was no one behind him.
5/07/2005
Haulin'
Ain't nothin' says you done some real work like bottoming out the rear springs in your truck.
Authority
One of the nice things about living near a Silverbowl stadium is that it's a big chunk of land that won't have houses - so traffic won't get any worse.
Except...
When there's an event traffic gets pretty bad.
Eventually I got sick of waiting in lines and started shoving taxis out of my way. Ignoring the hand signals from the silly people with the yellow jackets.
Most authority is based on the acceptance of such authority. When you reject it there aren't really repurcussions. As long as you don't reject the authority backed up by guns. Not a good idea to let the angry glares turn into gunfire. Tends to ruin one's day.
Except...
When there's an event traffic gets pretty bad.
Eventually I got sick of waiting in lines and started shoving taxis out of my way. Ignoring the hand signals from the silly people with the yellow jackets.
Most authority is based on the acceptance of such authority. When you reject it there aren't really repurcussions. As long as you don't reject the authority backed up by guns. Not a good idea to let the angry glares turn into gunfire. Tends to ruin one's day.
Big Smokey Woops
Driving down Stephanie, trying to get home. A fire engine passes me with lights and sirens ablazin'. It rushes down to Russell. The direction I'm headed. Uh oh...
Finally get to the downhill before the light. Big smoke cloud. Something in the park is burning.
Woops. Someone managed to light their SUV on fire. Bummer, guy.
Finally get to the downhill before the light. Big smoke cloud. Something in the park is burning.
Woops. Someone managed to light their SUV on fire. Bummer, guy.
Outa My Way
Awright, you're driving a late model sports car.
I'm driving a base 1998 Tacoma.
Why is it you're the one in the way? Really, let me know 'cause I don't understand.
I'm driving a base 1998 Tacoma.
Why is it you're the one in the way? Really, let me know 'cause I don't understand.
My Fault
Admittedly, this last one was my fault. I should've known better than to turn left across someone who had turned on their turn signal and slowed down to make a turn. My bad.
Honestly, it was. I forgot one of my rules: never trust turn signals. People _are_ out to get me.
Honestly, it was. I forgot one of my rules: never trust turn signals. People _are_ out to get me.
5/06/2005
The Typicals
Getting off the airport connector onto Russell - the typical reason for a backup.
Eastbound on Trop just west of I95 - the typical reason for a backup.
What was new, though, was watching a loaded semi lurch across three lanes to try to make a turn onto 95 north. He made it, but barely. Almost took out quite a few other people, too. That manwevver is bad enough in a small car, but in a semi it's just stupid.
Eastbound on Trop just west of I95 - the typical reason for a backup.
What was new, though, was watching a loaded semi lurch across three lanes to try to make a turn onto 95 north. He made it, but barely. Almost took out quite a few other people, too. That manwevver is bad enough in a small car, but in a semi it's just stupid.
5/05/2005
I Dare Ya
You may think you want to try to cut in front of me an force an opening for yourself but your 2005 model car with the temporary tags says otherwise. Especially when you notice the dents in my truck. Maybe then you begin to suspect that I just don't care and swerve back into your lane. Know your place, buddy.
5/03/2005
More Search Engines
AltaVista has me listed as #8 for "boulder highway hookers." Sorry guy, I don't know where they hang out - I just occasionally almost run 'em over when they skitter out in front of my car.
Homie Pilot
I saw a Honda Pilot the other day with a big ol' homie pipe. As a coworker said: "someone got to his mom's car."
I saw a Chevy Cavalier in a parking lot. Had two massive homie pipes. Two? Hmm... I checked, only one was connected to an exhaust line. Nice...
I saw a Chevy Cavalier in a parking lot. Had two massive homie pipes. Two? Hmm... I checked, only one was connected to an exhaust line. Nice...
5/02/2005
More Search Engine Goodness
MSN Search has this blog listed as the first result for "crack ho pics."
I can't imagine the disappointment some surfers must feel as they think they're going to see pictures of crack whores and end up instead with a dish of cold cynicism and warm bitchyness.
I can't imagine the disappointment some surfers must feel as they think they're going to see pictures of crack whores and end up instead with a dish of cold cynicism and warm bitchyness.
I Don't Think That One Was My Fault
If I watch traffic, check my mirror, then look over my shoulder as I flip on my turn signals; chances are it's not my fault you just about got hit. It could be that you jumped over from the far left lane as I was slowly moving to the middle lane from the right lane, si? I don't mind getting honked at if it's my fault - if I do something stupid I deserve to be mocked. But... If it's your fault just jump back into your own lane and shut up a bit, okay?
5/01/2005
Feelin' The Yahoo Lovin'
Not sure what to make of this...
According to search.yahoo.com, I'm ranked as:
7th place for: "crack ho"
1st place for: "quote commute"
66th place for: "sandy valley nevada"
And from Yahoo's Canada search, I'm the only entry for: "'this is a pre boarding' call flight to"
Someone has to making this stuff up.
I'm just waiting for a referral from my post about the gorilla stripper.
According to search.yahoo.com, I'm ranked as:
7th place for: "crack ho"
1st place for: "quote commute"
66th place for: "sandy valley nevada"
And from Yahoo's Canada search, I'm the only entry for: "'this is a pre boarding' call flight to"
Someone has to making this stuff up.
I'm just waiting for a referral from my post about the gorilla stripper.
Crash Goes The Weasel
The way I drive my truck tends to suffer from brake fade. I need bigger brakes, with slotted rotors (note: not cross drilled - those are bad bad bad). Anyway, I forgot about that while hauling a load to the dump. Almost rearended a minivan when I was distracted by a dancing Elvis with a For Sale sign. Dunno if he was selling Elvii or what, but my bad.
Later I saw a guy in an inflatable female gorilla costume trying to sell furniture. I laughed as he shook his big inflatable gorilla ass and fondled his big inflatable gorilla boobs. Wow... Big inflatable gorilla stripper. I almost stopped and tipped.
Later I saw a guy in an inflatable female gorilla costume trying to sell furniture. I laughed as he shook his big inflatable gorilla ass and fondled his big inflatable gorilla boobs. Wow... Big inflatable gorilla stripper. I almost stopped and tipped.
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