Sandy Valley

What can I say?

Oh...?

You've never heard of Sandy Valley?

Hehe... Sandy Valley has two types of people in it - Mormons and white trash.

The Mormons, well, they're Mormons. If you don't know, well, it'll remain a mystery for now. Today we're talking about the white trash.

Ah, some background. See, my parents live out in Sandy Valley. They're not white trash, and they're not Mormons. They're just kind of out there... Way out there. Their driveway is half a mile long. And unpaved.

So I'm on the way down that dirt road, looking at all the houses passing by. Off to the left is a mansion any true Ozarkian would be proud of. Some enterprising redneck has taken three (how'd he afford that many?) trailers and bolted them together into one big homestead.

Next house down... A car in the front yard up on blocks. Tire used as a planter. Broken appliances in the front yard also. Whoah.... Almost missed the beer bellied man in the wife beater standing on the front porch, beer in hand, pissing on the aforementioned appliances.

These are the people who refuse to put numbers on their houses so that the county inspectors can't find them. There's three bars, one general store, one restaurant (well, pizza joint), and no gas stations.

My mother and ex-girlfriend went into the general store a few days before Christmas to get baking soda. They found one box. It was already opened...

The next door neighbors have chickens, horses, cows. And a pile of kids. Good Mormons they be. Survivalist Mormons, I guess. Ready to repopulate the world at a moments notice.

Yeah, that's Sandy Valley in a netshell.

Oh yeah, directions... 20 miles south on I-15 to Jean. West 5 more miles. Then left on another road over some windy little 'mountain' pass. That road is where I found out that a 3000GT doesn't land very well.

Commerce... Sandy Valley has two main employers: a sod farm and a kitty litter plant. Hehe... Kitty litter plant. Now I know why my cat's dirt is so cheap here.