(Answers to real searches that lead people here.)
Las Vegas Hookers: Check lasvegas.craigslist.org. Seriously, try it. I can't vouch for the reputability of the women posting ads there, but I can vouch for how funny it is to read through them.
Crack Ho: Downtown, and unfortunately, the Albertson's near my house. I'm not gonna tell you were that one is, you should be able to find it on your own.
Should I Go To Vegas Or Not: Yes, you should. Stay at the Imperial Palace - reasonable rates, the rooms are clean, and they have a cool car exhibit.
Get tickets to shows ahead of time. I 'd recommend Comedy Stop at the Trop and Improv at Harrah's - both reasonably priced and usually very funny.
Eat dinner at last once at Ellis Island - the $7.99 prime rib and microbrew is a good deal and surprisingly good (like better than I've had at the Outback).
Skipp Wynn, everything is overpriced and it looks like a circus.
If you want a really impressive time, get a table on the balcony at the Paris that overlooks the Bellagio water show - time it so you can watch the show while eating dinner.
Don't gamble unless you really feel the need to lose money quickly, or want the free drinks. If you're playing for the free drinks go downtown where the minimum bet is cheaper. Please tip the waitress and the dealer, they work pretty hard (seems easy, but it's a long shift, odd hours, and you never get to sit down - and the servers have to wear some pretty uncomfortable shoes).
Thank You Helper: I have no idea. You're on your own on that one, buddy.
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