Oil Ain't Just For Cars

Let's spend a brief moment with the mad scientist in me, shall we?

I hate fan noise from computers. Drives me absolutely total monkeyfuck.

So I've been researching my options. I could liquid cool, but that's expensive and I have other things to spend my money on. I could spend a bunch of time and money using quiet fans and such, but that limits my processor speed. I could manufacturer my own cases, but that'd take a lot of time. Then I found another option - submerging a computer in oil.

Oil is completely nonconductive and non-corrosive. It should work just fine. Others have had success, so shall I.

I bought a $1.99 styrofoam ice chest and 5 gallons of vegetable oil as outlined earlier.

I completely disassembled an old PC I had laying about, and put the pieces in the ice chest. Connected them up and turned it on. It seemed to be working okay.

So I poured in the first gallon of oil. All was well.

Gallon two, all was well.

Gallon three, much the same.

About half way through gallon four I started hearing a weird noise. I traced it down to the CPU fan barely touching the surface of the oil and making a slapping noise. So I continued pouring.

Everything seemed to be working okay, maybe this was going to be all right. Thinking I had a momentous occasion on my hands, I got my camera. Took the lense cap off, turned the camera on, and rounded the corner into the living room and OH FUCK!!!

The styrofoam ice chest had cracked and was firing a line of pressured oil onto my carpet. OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!

I grabbed the ice chest and aimed the stream directly away from me. Then ran to the kitchen. Right about the time I hit the tile I realized what a bad idea it was to aim the stream directly in front of me.

The only way I could keep upright was to keep skating forward on my nice slick tile floor. Next thing I knew I was bouncing off the sink. Of course, between me and the sink was the ice chest. It disintegrated.

Somehow I got the pieces launched into the sink and kept on my feet. Then I surveyed the damage...

Grabbed a bunch of towels and tried sopping up the four foot wide puddle of oil on my carpet. Mopped up the kitchen. Then decided to try a carpet steamer. Seemed to work okay.

By the time I was done I had:
4 empty jugs of vegetable oil
1 busted styrofoam ice chest
1 full gallon jug of vegetable oil
1 wet, oily spot about 4 feet wide on my carpet
1 wet, oily carpet steamer
1 washer full of wet, oily towels
1 oily trail in the kitchen
1 sink full of computer parts and styrofoam bits
1 non-wet, but still oily, me

Overall not a successful evening.